Sex and Affection: What are Brazilians Looking For?

In: Love on Trial: Adjusting and Assigning Relationships
Author:
Ricardo Cheida de Oliveira
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Man is the only animal that in its evolution is distanced from nature, but not the only one with a prevalence of monogamy relationship. Is the sex by sex a disorder or a hedonistic option? From a phenomenological existentialist perspective, on the advance of capitalism Man not only departed from the nature as also loose its own identity. Came to represent a ‘desired Man’ materializing its qualities in consumer goods mass marketing. ‘Having’ besides ‘being’ is the way found by the ‘desired Man’ to be concrete while is not real. This increases its distance from feelings and emotions creating a lack on happiness. To address that, the ‘desired Man’ find on sex the easiest way to feel again and get closer to nature. It is the moment in which sensations really touches. This chapter discusses the issue of affection in the life of contemporary Man, based on observations of couples and singles visitors of ‘swinging’ houses in Sao Paulo, Brazil ‘Swinging’ houses means private places open to public were people go to have sex with multiple partners. We notice this lifestyle is heteronormative with a specific behavior code that drew our attention: a simple sign of affection among practitioners other then the spouse is considered treason or infidelity. They claim are liberal and are in search of pleasure, so why being afraid of feeling affection? Does it mean the feeling of affect fills something that is missing? From that question we deepened our observation to identify evidence of shortcomings that would justify the search for pleasure of sex, totally separated from social reality. We found shy people, some with sexual dysfunction, others with feelings of rejection or grief, all of them trying to be someone different from what they represent in ‘real life’. Are they really looking just for pleasure?