This chapter argues that the anthropogenic climate change model and its activisms are outgrows of the acceleration of the humanist aporia, and are as such the hypermodern enactments of traditional environmentalism. It claims that climate science and activism illustrate the contradiction internal to humanism, because their assumption is that certain human activity is responsible for our ecological crisis, while simultaneously calling upon similar human action and debate to avert this crisis. This paradox shows that our era of technological acceleration still affirms an arrogant image of the human in its very attempt at critiquing human mastery of ‘nature.’ The chapter in turn argues that this aporetic logic generates a simulation of climate change in the media. This simulation is certainly ‘real,’ but is also a prime metaphor for our era of acceleration and its economic instability. Since much environmental activism and debate fails to sufficiently deepen its critique vis-à-vis the raised stakes under acceleration, this chapter claims that the division into ‘for’ or ‘against’ the reality of climate change serves to silence more intricate analyses of the fundamental problems facing humanity today.