This paper is not so much about sexuality per se, but about the lasciviousness of language, which pushes and pulls us towards fields of relations that always insist upon a subject that is yet to come. Instead of allowing sex and gender to harden down positions for epistemic strategy – political, economic, or legal – I want to use this paper as a way of getting the perilous formation of questions about sex, gender, and language thrust into the artificial ground which formulates the stability of our discourses about them. I want to use story telling as a way of questioning hallowed binary notions about a stories putative object – the release of a tale into the frictive network of relations usually called either reading or speech; while also suggesting that stories agitate a collective sense of emotional response. In some of what follows, I will relate stories that talk of non-heteronormative couplings and decouplings, but they will be here to suggest new ways of thinking about the energies, rhythms, and contagions of storytelling itself. I will conclude that storytelling is a queer activity in which we all engage in order to disrupt, disturb, and re-channel the various ways we haul a subject together; always perilous, drifting amidst the swirling morass of the present, stories are a way of disturbing the heady interstices of time and space to suspend, virtually and artificially, the agency usually given over to critique itself, in order to constantly remake its authority and power.