Matukio: Biographical Poems

In: In This Fragile World
Author:
Ustadh Mau
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Annachiara Raia
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Clarissa Vierke
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Figure 19

Ustadh Mahmoud Mau sitting in front of the oven in his bakery in 1988

1 Hafi asiye timiwa (“No One Dies before His Time Is Up”)

Ustadh Mau composed this poem in 1999 as a kind of diary entry to remind himself of an incident in which he almost died. He first read it to his mother. He had traveled to Mombasa to visit his child who was studying there. At that time, during an El Niño phase after a long rainy period, the rain had caused the Tana River to swell so large that it destroyed the road in Gharseni. Thus, all the passengers had to get off the bus and board canoes that would take them to the other side of the large current. On the other side, another bus waited to take them to Mombasa. As one of the people on board the canoe tried to stretch his leg, he moved too much and the boat overturned. One man who could not swim grabbed Ustadh by the shoulder to find some support. He was so heavy that he almost made Ustadh Mau drown. Ustadh Mau lost his bag with the school fees for his child inside it. This story is effectively depicted in a dramatic crescendo, but with a happy ending: all six people on the boat survived. After the incident, Mahmoud began fasting every Monday and Thursday to thank God for saving him from drowning on that day.

1.

Nataka wapa hikaya, ya mambo yalonipata

Kwa utungo tawambiya, kiswacheI kilichopita

Mungu kunijaaliya, salimini kunieta

Hafi asiyeII timiwa

I want to tell you a story of what happened to me.

In verse, I will tell you about a particular incident

When God protected and saved me.

No one dies before his time is up.

I kiswache contracted form of kisa chake “its story.” | II The poet uses the Kimvita (Mv.) and Kiunguja (Kiung.) form asiye instead of the Lamu aso.

2.

Ni mwaoni twalingiya, kwa idadi watu sita

Na mifuko yetu piya, kila mtu kapakata

Nahuza akatwambiya, hadhari kufurukuta

Hafi asiye timiwa

We got into a canoe; we were six in number,

Everyone holding their bags in their laps.

The captain told us, “Be careful, do not move too much!”

No one dies before his time is up.

3.

Tukaketi hangaliya, kamba alipoiwata

Na mtoni kikangiya, na mai kikafuata

Katika sisi mmoya, guu hawezi kukuta

Hafi asiye timiwa

We sat and watched how they untied the rope,

And the canoe went into the deep water, following the current.

One of us could not stretch his leg.

No one dies before his time is up.

4.

Akitaka kusongeya, hutambaa tatatata

Ni yeo! Metwatiliya, maini huparapata

Hata fahamu kitiya, mzigo nimebingitaI

Hafi asiye timiwa

And when he wanted to move, he could only do it like a toddler.

Suddenly, we found ourselves in the water, struggling to stay on the surface.

Before I even realized what happened, I was supporting a heavy load.

No one dies before his time is up.

I -bingita “to carry.”

5.

Jibaba la kilo miya, maungoni meikita

Kwa dhati meniemeya, mabegani menambata

KesaI kuisaidiya, kutaka kumkukutaII

Hafi asiye timiwa

I was carrying a colossus of one hundred kilos on my back;

He weighed heavily on me, leaning on my shoulders.

I tried everything to help myself and shake him off.

No one dies before his time is up.

I kesa < ka-isa “to finish.” | II -kukuta “to shake off.”

6.

Nami mkono mmoya, mkoba nimekamata

Lakini ukanemeya, sina budi kauwata

Kauona hupoteya, kashindwa kuufuwata

Hafi asiye timiwa

I held my bag in one hand,

But it became so heavy, I had to let it go.

I watched it sink, unable to retrieve it.

No one dies before his time is up.

7.

Hali yangu changaliya, pumzi siwezi vuta

Jamaa meniziwiya, mai kwa kasi hupita

Shahada kaipijiya, na tamaa muhukataI

Hafi asiye timiwa

When I found myself in a situation in which I could not breathe—

The fellow prevented me from doing so, and there was a strong current—

I pronounced the last creed and was about to give up.

No one dies before his time is up.

I muhukata tamaa Am. “I was about to give up hope,” a verb with the locative subject prefix (mu-), used in Kiamu to express “to be about to.” See also Wasiya wa mabanati, stz. 88.

8.

Kashopoka mara moya, kwa kuwana na kuteta

Kitwa nde katokeya, na pumzini nikavuta

Kawahi yowe kutiya, baba likaniburuta

Hafi asiye timiwa

For a moment, I managed to surface by fighting and struggling.

My head emerged from the water, and I could inhale;

I managed to shout before the heavy man pulled me down again.

No one dies before his time is up.

9.

Tukazama kwa pamoya, mai kasi husokota

Mungu kanijaaliya, penyenyeI tena kapata

Kanena nisaidiya, ukee kaukukuta

Hafi asiye timiwa

We sank together; the water was swirling quickly.

God granted me another chance to pierce through the surface.

I shouted loudly, “Help me!”

No one dies before his time is up.

I penyenye “loophole.”

10.

Kaiyona naregeya na ziungo huniwata

Mwenyewe kashuhudiya ulimwengu hunipita

Fahamu zikapoteya kisa kwa muda kapata

Hafi asiye timiwa

I was getting weak, and my joints were failing me.

I could see myself how the world left me behind,

And I lost consciousness, which I regained after a while.

No one dies before his time is up.

11.

Fahamu zikiningiya, kijana hunikokota

Na kwa mbali hunambiya, jiweni hela ambata

Kifumbua changaliya, kwenye jiwe meniwata

Hafi asiye timiwa

When my consciousness came back, I found a young man pulling me,

Telling me from afar, “Hold fast to this rock!”

When I opened my eyes, I saw that he had pulled me toward a rock.

No one dies before his time is up.

12.

Kamshukuru Jaliya, uhai tena kupata

Naye alosaidiya, maini kuniburuta

Tamlipa Maulaya, kwa dua sitomuata

Hafi asiye timiwa

I thanked the Magnificent one for bringing me back to life,

And the one who helped and pulled me out of the water.

God will reward him, and I won’t abandon him in my prayers.

No one dies before his time is up.

13.

Baadhi ya abiriya, walikuya nifuata

Ili kunisaidiya, mkoba kuutafuta

Uwapi umepoteya, hata ndiya ulopita

Hafi asiye timiwa

Some of the passengers came to me

To help me look for my bag:

“Where is it? I do not even know where it was lost.”

No one dies before his time is up.

14.

Hapa kikomo tatiya, kushukuru sitowata

Nna na faida moya, ambayo nimeipata

Mauti kuyakimbiya, si dawa hukufuata

Hafi asiye timiwa

I will finish the poem here, but never stop being grateful.

And there is one lesson that I have learned from it:

Running from death is not a solution—it still follows you.

No one dies before his time is up.

2 Mlango (“The Door”)

Ustadh Mau composed this poem around 2003 or 2004, when he almost had to close down his bakery. The economy was not doing well (see also the poem Jahazi), and prices had been rising since the 1990s. His income was not enough to cover his expenses; he had debts of 1,500,000 shillings. Three of his children were at university, which added additional costs to his expenses. So he decided to close the shop for some time, since he no longer had any capital to invest. It was a difficult period for him, since, first of all, no one believed him; secondly, he did not know what to do.

For as long as he could remember, he had worked in the bakery, even when he was just a child and the bakery was run by his uncle. He helped out at the bakery after school until, at the beginning of the 1980s, he took it over from his uncle, to whom he provided some money for his daily provisions. His uncle had taken over the bakery from an Indian (at the time, the bakery was called Amir Bakery), who had ultimately moved away from Lamu, seeking greener pastures.

In 2005, Ustadh Mau retired and handed the bakery over to his firstborn son, Fati, who managed to obtain loans from the bank and to steer the bakery out of its crisis. He could even pay back his debts, but later went bankrupt with a second bakery that he had opened in Malindi. After that, he sold the Lamu bakery to his younger brother, Yassir. The bakery plays a central role in the family: Ustadh Mau calls it “the source of our life”; it earns an income for the whole family, and Yassir still runs the bakery, providing Ustadh Mau with money for his daily expenditures.

1.

Sitoshunduwa mlango, taushindikaI wa duka

Kwani mambo henda jongo, hayaekei kunyoka

Nimemaliza mipango, siyoni kurakibika

I will not open but close the shop’s door,

Because things are going wrong; they don’t seem to be going right.

I have tried everything; I do not see any improvement.

I -shindika “to close a door without locking it.”

2.

Ni uwamuzi thakili, na wala sikuutaka

Mimi kwenye duka hili, ndipo nilipoinuka

Siisi kazi ya pili, illa mikate kuwoka

It is a very hard decision, and I did not want it.

This shop is the place where I grew up.

I never learned any other profession except baking bread.

3.

Na adhabu ya kaburi, aiyuwao hakikaI

ZingangaII zinazojiri, ni ndani tulomzika

Wa nde hata khabari, hamba hunena huteka

The only one who really knows the suffering of the grave,

Is one who is buried.

Outside of it, people have no idea; they just gossip, talk, and laugh.

I The poem makes reference to a proverb that suggests that only someone who has gone through the same experience can understand the one suffering: Adhabu ya kaburi aiyuwao ni maiti “the punishment of the grave, the dead person is the one who knows it.” | II zinganga Am. “trouble” (Std. dharubu, taabu)

4.

Na waja mukikutana, usitaniI hukushika

Hufai kunena sina, na sina ukitamka

Umwambiyao huwona, humfanyiya dhihaka

And when you meet people on the street, they stop you and beg;

You are not supposed to say, “I don’t have anything.”

When you tell them no, they think you are joking.

I usita “street,” a noun derived from -pita “to pass by” (Std. njia)

5.

Aswilani hawakiri, hawataki kuridhika

Hunena ni ujauri, na twabiya kugeuka

Ya nyuma yote mazuri, huwata kuyakumbuka

They do not want to accept your answer;

They say it is arrogance and that you have changed in character.

They remember none of your previous favors.

6.

Hata wako wa karibu, huwa nawe wana shaka

Wangawa hawakujibu, kwa siri hunungunika

Hawaziyoni dharubu, ambazo hukuzunguka

Even your close relatives don’t believe you;

Though they do not tell you directly, they talk behind your back.

They do not see the problems that have befallen you.

7.

Imekuwa ndake kazi, mtu kitu akitaka

Humwambiya siku hizi, mambo yameharibika

Hushindana na mkizi, kwa hasira na kuruka

“It has become his habit; when someone begs him,

He says, ‘Nowadays, things have gone wrong.’

He is worse than a mkizi fish, jumping out of anger.”I

I mkizi is a kind of fish (like a mullet) that jumps from the sea and that people consider to be very moody and choleric (mwenye hasira). Mau: Ukimwambia kitu ataruka (“If you tell him something, he will jump”). Mau also refers to a proverb: Hasira ya mkizi, furaha/tijara ya mvuzi (“The anger of the mkizi is the joy of the fisherman”). In this stanza, which consists of direct speech, Ustadh Mau lets the voices of his neighbors and friends speak about him; they compare him to a mkizi fish.

8.

Hayo ndiyo wanenayo, uchenda kuwadirika

Ulonalo wayo wayoI, na kwingi kusononeka

Hamba ni kisingiziyo, cha jukumu kuepuka

That is how you find them, talking behind your back.

They say the anxiety and worries you have

Are just an excuse to avoid your responsibility.

I wayo wayo “laments” | II kisingizi “excuse”

9.

Henda kapata salama, labuda kapumzika

Zikapunguwa lawama, za wenye kunizunguka

Na utuneI ukakoma, mlango kiushindika

Perhaps I can get some peace and a bit of rest,

And the reproaches and provocations of those surrounding me

Will stop if I close the shop’s door.

I utune “grudges,” syn.: malalamiko.

10.

Hakuna dhiki wa dhiki, mwiso kiza hutanduka

Ni yeye pweke Khallaki, atuwao na kutweka

Makini sibabaiki, kamba yake nimeshika

There is not just distress after distressI; light will do away with the darkness.

It is only the Creator who can lift the burden or put it on our shoulders;

That is why I stay calm, holding fast to His rope.

I This refers to the saying Hakuna dhiki wa dhiki, baada ya dhiki faraja, “There is not mischief after mischief; after mischief there will be delight.”

11.

Naamini kwa yakini, kwa hili tafaidika

Tamtambuwa ni nyani, mwema wa kuibandika

Na wa kweli muhisaniI, naye atabainika

I believe I will certainly benefit from this experience.

I will recognize the ones who are only pretending to be good,

And it will be obvious who my true friend is.

I muhisani Ar. “friend” (Std. rafiki)

12.

Mola amenisitiri, tangu nalipoinuka

Katika wangu umri, mpaka nilipofika

Sasa hatoniaziri, inshaallah sitoumbuka

God has safeguarded me since my childhood,

Throughout my life, until where I am now.

Now he will not disgrace me, inshallah; I will not be ashamed.

13.

Tammati yangu kauli, kalamu hapa naweka

Afuwa haiko mbali, nataraji kuafika

Na koja la idhilali, shingoni hatonawika

This is the end of my talk; I put my pen aside.

Relief is not far; I expect to have it soon.

He will not put a wreath of misery around my neck.

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In This Fragile World

Swahili Poetry of Commitment by Ustadh Mahmoud Mau

Series:  Islam in Africa, Volume: 25